1 00:00:01,584 --> 00:00:05,088 The Muppet Show, with guest star Connie Stevens. 2 00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:07,382 And from Sesame Street, Ernie and Bert. 3 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:38,872 Hello! Gonzo is so stupid. 4 00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:41,416 We are almost out of water, 5 00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:43,084 he wants us to water it out. 6 00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:54,971 Miss Connie Stevens! 7 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:23,708 Thank you, and welcome to The Muppet Show. 8 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:28,129 Our guest star is beautiful and vivacious Miss Connie Stevens. 9 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,215 We have a great show tonight. 10 00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:33,301 I want you to meet another friend of mine. 11 00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:35,720 Her name is Lydia. Play up! 12 00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:36,508 Piggy, have you met Lydia? 13 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,803 No. Did you hit my left fist? 14 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,142 I love it. 15 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,227 Of course. 16 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:50,146 He's the guy who plants poison sumac. 17 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,070 Hilda, can I ask you a favor? 18 00:03:57,153 --> 00:03:59,614 Gonzo, I'm very busy right now. 19 00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:03,493 But I brought the teddy bear so you could repair it. 20 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:08,373 Gonzo, aren't you a little too old to have a teddy bear? 21 00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:09,457 Seriously? 22 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,794 Am I emotionally mature enough? for a doll? 23 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:18,883 Gonzo, I refuse, firmly, 24 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,177 to mend that teddy bear. 25 00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,304 Is it a "maybe"? 26 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,515 Come on, Hilda. What do you say? 27 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:31,104 I say that bear is the worst I have seen in this theater. 28 00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,606 Why not get rid of him? 29 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,150 But, Hilda... 30 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:40,655 Is the bear the worst she has seen in this theater? 31 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,659 My whole life passes in review. 32 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,928 English word: Swedish meatballs. 33 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:07,307 Here is the sauce for the meatballs. 34 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:12,896 That's good. 35 00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:23,114 It's a bouncy burger. 36 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,950 I serve the burger. Soon. 37 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:35,669 Fifteen-zero. 38 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:43,051 Kermit, this is an ultimatum. We'll sing tonight, otherwise... 39 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,719 Kermit's not here, Wayne. 40 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,930 Hiding from my wrath. 41 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,349 Weird. He's not on stage either. 42 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:52,852 -Wanda, no one is on stage. -Do you mean... 43 00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:56,356 Yes! This is our chance. We must seize it. 44 00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,734 But it is now Connie Stevens will perform. 45 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:02,570 We cut to Connie Stevens' performance. 46 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,161 Who needs Connie Stevens' performance? 47 00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,997 Who cares about Connie Stevens' performance? 48 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:17,210 I'm looking forward to it to Connie Stevens' performance! 49 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:31,558 I thought Kermit should introduce myself. 50 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,686 - He will. -Hey, Kermit. 51 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,688 Hello, Connie. Gosh! 52 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,565 Listen up. I introduce 53 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:41,651 the tireless blonde beauty, 54 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,194 Miss Connie Stevens. 55 00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:44,279 Gosh! 56 00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,489 And that was just backstage. 57 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:49,200 When you sing a song, I'll go on. 58 00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:51,995 Thank you, Kermit. You are so kind. 59 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,788 No reason. 60 00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,832 I happened to see on your performance, 61 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,376 and I haven't heard it before. 62 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:02,047 When I'm done, you may never hear it again. 63 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,424 - It was a hit in the 50s. -Yes? 64 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:08,511 I dedicate it to my former boyfriend, Jimmy McAfee. 65 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:13,683 He used to sing it to me in 1956, when I was sitting in his car. 66 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,810 Yes? Your first love? 67 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,688 Yes. It was a beautiful car. 68 00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,941 I meant Jimmy McAfee. 69 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,568 Yes, Jimmy McAfee. 70 00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,571 Kermit, I loved him. 71 00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:30,075 He had long, thick, oily hair, 72 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,869 and he went with a big leather jacket. 73 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:33,953 And you know what? 74 00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:37,540 If we had spared Jimmy's hair, if we hadn't run out of oil. 75 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,002 I'm looking forward to the song. 76 00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:44,172 And we have backup singers for you. 77 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:45,590 Fantastic! 78 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:54,933 Is it the group? 79 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,060 Yep, you're right. 80 00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,105 It's not The Temptations. 81 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,856 It's The Mutations. 82 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,569 -Lovely. -Yes. I'll tell you something. 83 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:10,365 I'll give you a big one introduction in 50s DJ style. 84 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:11,533 -Okay? - Okay. 85 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,705 This is Kermit the Frog, their favorite DJ, 86 00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:19,207 with today's hits spinning at you. 87 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:23,545 Piles of wax, this is an old hitter from the past. 88 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,422 Connie Stevens and The Mutations 89 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,425 with a good portion of 1956. 90 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:32,053 We continue with "Teenager In Love". Connie, your turn! 91 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:15,115 So touching. I remember when I was a teenager in love. 92 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:18,118 But Queen Victoria didn't want you! 93 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:24,124 Kermit, don't you like him too? 94 00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:27,127 What should I like, Gonzo? The bear is bad. 95 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,795 We should get rid of him. 96 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,296 He is a nice bear. 97 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:33,508 Come on, same if he's moldy. I like him. 98 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,303 Did you hear that? 99 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:41,099 Only Gonzo likes me. And he thinks I'm moldy. 100 00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:55,572 I finally see them have decorated this place. 101 00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:57,449 What do you mean? 102 00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:59,909 The rats wear ties. 103 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:04,205 ...two, three, dip. One, two, three, dip. 104 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:06,249 One, two, three, dip! 105 00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,169 One, two, three, dip. 106 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,758 Bruce, this is not a foxtrot. 107 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,302 So for me. 108 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:24,804 Connie, finally... 109 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:28,850 ...are we alone. 110 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:30,894 You know what? 111 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,813 It's wonderful to be with you. 112 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,648 Yes? 113 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:02,819 Are you ready? 114 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:30,013 I want to be close to Connie Stevens, but I'm too close to something else. 115 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,765 -What is it? -Ninety. 116 00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,270 I've had enough. 117 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:40,565 Now that I know what people think of me, 118 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,067 I'm leaving the show. 119 00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:44,694 Hello, you guys. 120 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:47,572 I wonder. What do you think of him? 121 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:51,159 Listen, they're talking about me. I don't want to listen. 122 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:54,954 What do I think of the bear? He is funny. 123 00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,039 No, seriously. 124 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:59,334 Every time I look at him, I laugh. 125 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,419 I think he's great. 126 00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:03,880 I'm glad you like him too. 127 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,882 Kermit thinks he's a disgrace 128 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,759 and that we should find a new one. 129 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:10,303 That would have been nice too. 130 00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:15,517 The bear can hardly handle it. 131 00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:24,317 Okay, Zoot, now it's your solo. Have you looked at the music? 132 00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:27,237 Yes. Do you expect that I should play this? 133 00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,406 What else are you going to do with it? 134 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,992 If I had a match, could it stop suffering. 135 00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:35,412 Trust me. This is a great number. 136 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,206 Yes, what if I refuse to play it? 137 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,750 What if I get a new saxophonist? 138 00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:45,463 What if you and I work on the case 139 00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,382 and does this beauty play? 140 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,259 Well thought out. 141 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,343 Yes. 142 00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:55,015 Forgive me, Charlie Parker, wherever you are. 143 00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:32,529 To their astonishment and confusion 144 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:36,449 shall The Muppet Show's oddball, Gonzo the Great, 145 00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:38,576 make a tomato plant grow 146 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:42,997 while he plays 1812 Overture for violin. 147 00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:47,002 Thanks. 148 00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:51,673 This is the tomato plant and I am Gonzo. 149 00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,218 This does not last long. 150 00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:58,555 It's actually over. 151 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,141 No! Let me go! 152 00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:08,023 They are busy for a while. 153 00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:11,526 -Have at it, Mr. Frog. -Fozzie, where are you going? 154 00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:15,113 I have heard what they have said about this old bear, 155 00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:17,198 so i go home. 156 00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:19,534 I'm leaving show business. 157 00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:20,660 -But... -Kermit... 158 00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:23,455 - Have it. -...if the bear leaves, I leave. 159 00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:28,585 Gonzo, I had no idea! Okay. All right, okay. 160 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:32,756 Okay, your move, frog. 161 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,800 Wait a minute. Calm down. 162 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:37,969 Listen, Fozzie. When you heard 163 00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:41,723 that they didn't want the bear, they meant Gonzo's teddy bear. 164 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:42,932 Not you. 165 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:45,852 Teddy bear? 166 00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:50,065 Do you mean... Do you want me to stay? 167 00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,817 Of course. You are a star. 168 00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:55,278 You are a modern day legend. 169 00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:57,781 Do I apply a little thick? 170 00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,657 I don't know what to say, 171 00:19:59,741 --> 00:20:03,495 except that if you, the frog, want me, the bear, to be… 172 00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:07,832 - I just need a pay rise. -What? 173 00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:08,917 Yes. 174 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,294 Larger wardrobe, and limousine... 175 00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:12,754 Get out, Fozzie! 176 00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:14,422 Thank you, sir. Thanks. 177 00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:19,719 Yeah, like I said, Kermit. If the bear leaves, Gonzo leaves. 178 00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:20,804 Okay. 179 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:24,891 You can stay, the teddy bear can stay. Both bears can stay, Gonzo can stay. 180 00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:30,689 Sometimes the crown weighs heavily on this little frog's head. 181 00:20:33,525 --> 00:20:35,193 A Muppets newscast. 182 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:40,281 Now we are going to Washington D.C. what a hot caller. 183 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,913 Now I will introduce two old friends. 184 00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:50,333 Right from Sesame Street, here they are unique 185 00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:51,584 Ernie and Bert! 186 00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:56,715 Thanks. 187 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,300 It's great to be here. Right, Bert? 188 00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:03,179 - Yes, well. -What's wrong, Bert? 189 00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:04,264 I mean... 190 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:09,853 It's strange to be here. This is a great variety show. 191 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,939 - So what? - Well... I'm not an entertainer. 192 00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:16,276 Bert. A gracious, sophisticated showman like you? 193 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:17,986 Oh yes. I know you. 194 00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:20,989 You say I'm amiable and sophisticated, 195 00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:22,949 and when I begin to believe it, 196 00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:25,535 you say I have a pointed head 197 00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:29,330 and flapping arms, and that I'm boring. 198 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:30,749 -I know you. -Bert. 199 00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:32,792 -What? -You have to admit 200 00:21:32,876 --> 00:21:35,337 that head is a bit pointy, Bert. 201 00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:38,798 And you have to admit that the arms are a bit flabby and relaxed. 202 00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:39,883 Do you see that? 203 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:41,760 - And Bert? Bert? -What? 204 00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:44,387 The nose is still loose. 205 00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:49,893 Cut it out! 206 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:51,394 Sorry, Bert. Here. 207 00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:55,273 - Like that, Bert. -Yes. Do you understand? 208 00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:59,027 The joke about the loose nose is funny on Sesame Street, 209 00:21:59,110 --> 00:22:01,821 but these are big things, Ernie. 210 00:22:01,905 --> 00:22:03,656 They expect a number. 211 00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:06,159 Hey, wait a minute. You can do a number. 212 00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:09,079 -All you need are clothes. -No. Clothing? 213 00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:10,830 - Come here. Here. - No... Stop. 214 00:22:10,914 --> 00:22:13,875 - No, here. -I know what you're thinking. End! 215 00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:20,340 The amiable, sophisticated showman, 216 00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:22,050 my old friend Bert. 217 00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,180 Well, Bert? What do you say? 218 00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:33,645 Excuse me? 219 00:22:39,109 --> 00:22:40,193 What's going on here? 220 00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:50,597 Oh, Connie. 221 00:24:32,806 --> 00:24:33,807 Ernie? 222 00:24:35,433 --> 00:24:37,060 -Ernie, come here. - What, Bert? 223 00:24:37,143 --> 00:24:40,355 Have I made a fool of myself? 224 00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:42,691 Absolutely, Bert. 225 00:24:43,942 --> 00:24:46,736 - Take me home. I feel terrible. - Okay. Come on again. 226 00:24:49,864 --> 00:24:52,992 Connie, thanks for joining us on the show. 227 00:24:53,076 --> 00:24:55,662 Thank you, Kermit. I had fun. 228 00:24:55,745 --> 00:24:58,164 We also have a little present for you, 229 00:24:58,248 --> 00:24:59,958 which we give to all guest stars: 230 00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:01,710 A Muppet of you. 231 00:25:02,711 --> 00:25:06,923 Hello, Connie. Is there room for both of us in the industry? 232 00:25:07,007 --> 00:25:09,509 -Can you sing and dance? -No. 233 00:25:09,884 --> 00:25:11,511 Then there is plenty of space. 234 00:25:11,594 --> 00:25:12,595 Thank you so much, Kermit. 235 00:25:12,679 --> 00:25:14,806 What a nice surprise. I would like to thank... 236 00:25:15,890 --> 00:25:18,018 Oh, no. It is a... 237 00:25:19,144 --> 00:25:21,563 It's Crazy Gonzo's Tomato Plant! 238 00:25:21,646 --> 00:25:22,939 Make sure Connie is okay, 239 00:25:23,023 --> 00:25:25,775 and tell Gonzo that the plant or he must leave. 240 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:27,944 We lose more guests this way. 241 00:25:28,403 --> 00:25:29,779 Anyway, take care of yourselves, 242 00:25:29,863 --> 00:25:32,449 see you next time on The Muppet Show. 243 00:26:14,991 --> 00:26:17,660 Do you find this show educational? 244 00:26:17,744 --> 00:26:20,622 Yes, it motivates people to read books.